- An apple a day keeps the doctor away.
- One bad apple don't spoil the whole bunch.
- It's like comparing apples and oranges.
- The apple doesn't fall far from the tree.
We've all heard those old adages, but until I planted an apple tree myself, I didn't realize how many apples fall from the tree before they are fully ripened. Like. All. Of. Them.
I kid you not! I have yet to pick a fully ripened red apple from either of my trees. Between the squirrels, blackbirds, and who knows what other critters eating and destroying my apples, there are none left for me!!
This year I'm beating them at their own game. I've been inspecting the dropped apples daily and keeping those that are unblemished to bake a dessert or two. The other day I reached under a hosta to pick up a prime specimen and yikes!!!!! A dead squirrel was stretched out with an apple near it's head!
What in the world could have happened?! A poison apple? BB gun toting neighbor? Bill came up with this scenario:
"Maybe it fell out of the tree and broke it's little neck."
I had to sober up real quick 'cause there's no way I was going to remove that stiff little carcass. So, I said, "Yup, that's probably what happened." And went in the house to finish my laughing in private.
Photo courtesy of Google Images.
To his credit, Medical Examiner Bill did come up with the most likely cause of death. Sparky got zapped on the power lines overhead. In the past, these squirrels have cut off power to the entire town by stepping on the wrong wire. Probably with one of my apples in its mouth.
So. I've come up with a new Forrest Gump-like adage:
"When life gives you fallen apples, make dessert."
Soon to be added to the Diner 911 menu:
Savory Squirrel Stew
