Felopzd.

Felopzd. What in the world is a felopzd, you ask?  Why it's the line 7 word on the eye chart, silly.

I have recited those letters so many times that they feel like a word to me.  Quite similar to the word prndl (per nun' dull).  Don't know what a prndl is either?  It's the gear shift lever in a car according to Lisa Douglas of Green Acres.

• Park
• Reverse
• Neutral
• Drive
• Low 

Get it?  Prndl.   "Oh, Oh-liv-ah, the prndl is stuck again!"

Gotta love those classic 1960's T.V. shows.  Pictured below is the Freddy Kruger of my childhood.

Do you remember that strange nearsighted character who couldn't find his way out of a cardboard box?  I hated that cartoon!  As a very, and I repeat, VERY nearsighted child, my biggest fear was misplacing my glasses and becoming Mr. Magoo!  My cat eye glasses were permanently affixed to my face unless I was in a lake or running through a sprinkler in the neighborhood.  Of course, there was always a wise guy in the bunch who thought it was funny to hide the little twerp's glasses........bully.

Next in line in my childhood fear department was the annual optometrist appointment.  As I was cropping these photos, I realized this was my very first optometrist!  And his name is on this ancient vintage eyeglass case!  Could I possibly be that old?!

Nowadays, everything is computerized, so mistakes are unlikely to happen.  BUT, in my day, every decision was up to me!  ME!!  During those dreaded yearly visits, I felt a lot like Ralphie when he finally crawled back up the slide to face Scary Santa.

Scary Doctor:  "Better or worse?  Which one is it little girl?  Number 1 or number 2?  Which one?"

Six-year-old panic stricken me:  "Ummm.........number 1....I think.  WAIT!!  No......number 2?



Yup, that's me in all my dorkiness.  KUDOS to the scientific geniuses who invented excimer laser eye surgery!!!  April 12, 2000 was the day of my Lasik procedure and cost me $3,000.  Best. Money. I. Ever. Spent.

This all leads up to my latest typography sign.  I've always had a fascination with eye charts.  I would pass the time making words out of the random arrangement of letters while I waited for the doctor.  It really is a pleasing design and I thought it would spiff up a plain Jane door in the man cave ( and be quite useful, too).  So, I photocopied an actual eye chart and traced the letters onto a white painted piece of plywood.  The letters only took one coat of black acrylic craft paint, so I completed it in less than 2 hours!  And, in answer to my first question, I'm pretty sure a felopzd is a prehistoric lizard of some sort.  Correct me if I'm wrong.  :@

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