When I was younger, I'd jokingly tell my mother that
the older a person gets, the smaller their Christmas tree gets.
That is how I interpreted what I observed in our family.
That is how I interpreted what I observed in our family.
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My Baba had the traditional lighted ceramic tree.
No fuss, no muss.
No fuss, no muss.
My mother displays a mid-sized tabletop model.
Still a tree, but easy to manage.
Yes, I've still got the full size, too big for my house number.
If you knew what I go through every year to get that tree up and shining, you'd
truly be amazed! In fact, the contestants of Survivor ain't got nuttin' on me!
Tree Retrieval Process at 911
After I descend into the Mancave, I'm forced to enter a very narrow
closet housing the 220 degree steam pipes. I shimmy past those, while sucking
in my...... well, everything in fear of being burned. And believe me,
I've got a few scars from past encounters!
Google Images
I've got a few scars from past encounters!
Google Images
If I make it safely past the hot pipes, I duck down to enter
the Hobbit Closet, which is a term that loosely describes the small space
under our basement stairs where our tree spends the majority of the year.
Unfortunately it's also the spot where I pile all the things
I didn't know what to do with for the past 11 months.
Yes, my tree is under an avalanche about to happen.
Wikipedia
the Hobbit Closet, which is a term that loosely describes the small space
under our basement stairs where our tree spends the majority of the year.
Unfortunately it's also the spot where I pile all the things
I didn't know what to do with for the past 11 months.
Yes, my tree is under an avalanche about to happen.
Wikipedia
When I finally get to the zippered bag and bins that hold the three parts
of my tree, I've got to carry the whole works out over my head!
It's the only way to get past the hot pipes.
And......
I have to accomplish this entire task without getting between the
cave dweller and his massive television!!!
Whew!
Whew!
Every year I'm optimistic that I've found the perfect spot for
Too Large Tree. I may as well come clean about what happened
last year as I was manhoovering (term used by youngest offspring to
describe how she had to park the big ole' car we gave her for college)
the furniture around to make way for TLT.
I blamed it all on those mischievous elves when it was actually.....
The Manhoover Maneuver
that broke the leg off my 22 year old couch!
I was dragging it across the rug and snap!
I was dragging it across the rug and snap!
It has been repaired, but now that I've come clean, I'm hoping
Santa will deliver a new couch to 911 this year.
Although.......there is the curbside theft find incident.
I'll be better next year, Santa. I promise!
So, there really is a mathematical equation to figure out
what size Christmas tree your house should be sporting
and here it is:
Upper body strength + hip circumference x closet size - bank account % age = tree size
By my calculations I've still got a few years of tree hauling ahead of me, but
I'm planning for the future, and the trees pictured below are lookin' mighty fine!
I've shown you mine, and now I want to know,
How big is yours?
How big is yours?
Vickie