Thursday, October 31, 2013

There's a skeleton in my closet.

Now that the eve of ghosts and goblins is upon us, I feel the time is right to  
resurrect an old post I deleted.  When I attracted my very first follower
 I hit the panic button and deleted a few of my questionable posts.
You know the posts I'm talking about.  In the early days of blogging when
you don't give a hoot who's reading and you show your true colors.
Yes, those posts.

So, without further ado, today I'm subjecting treating you to my favorite deleted post
and in the process, exposing one of the skeletons in my closet.

Post title:  Knock, knock.
Originally published in the fall of the year 2010.
 Playlist song that accompanied post, I Hear You Knocking by Dave Edmunds.

Let me set the stage for you.

It's a lazy Saturday morning and you're sleenavutzing (my Baba's term for lazing around)
on the couch with your laptop and cup of coffee, still wearing your ratty old jammies,
hair all askew and no make-up,  last night's pizza box and dirty dishes on the kitchen table,
 Hershey's Extra Creamy Milk Chocolate Nuggets with Toffee and Almonds wrappers strewn about,
and the unthinkable happens.......

the doorbell rings!!!!


Now I'm not sure what the average Joe does in a situation like this,
but here at 911, I've been known to drop to the floor and crawl to the nearest hiding spot,
puh-ray-ing  that I remembered to lock the doors the night before!

I was talking to a friend one day when she mentioned having to perform
the combat crawl to avoid a bothersome relative knocking at her door.
What?!!  There's actually a name to this maneuver
 and it's practiced in households other than my own?!   Well, call me relieved!
I'm normal, after all.

I'm quite sure it's a genetic trait I've inherited and passed on to one of our two daughters.
  I carry the slithery trait, but my husband most definitely does not.
 He's one of those people who always answers the phone, and likewise the door.
  He gets irritated with me when I stage whisper, "I'm not home!" as I
run up the stairs two at a time towards a safe haven.

He's not a natural at fabricating little white lies on the spot either.
He even tries to shame me into answering the door by saying,
 "There is something seriously wrong with you!"  to which I reply,
"No, there's something wrong with you.  Everybody does this!"

Don't they?

Well. I gotta run.
Somebody's at the door!!!

Bill:   "Ummmm, Vickie?  Vickie who?  Oh, her.
Ahhhh, let me think.  I saw her put her running shoes on,
so she's probably out training for next year's Grandma's Marathon.
 I'm sure she won't be home for hours, possibly even days.

(I've never run a mile in my life.  Intentionally, that is.)

So tell me.  What's in your closet?



  1. Oh my gosh, Vickie...SO funny...I'm glad you pulled this post back up! At least someone answers your door...I just ignore it...

  2. Oh my goodness Vickie, you have me in stitches. You are too funny. But funny as it may be I am guilty of doing it too...Hee, Hee, Hee. Glad you decided to repost...Loved it.


  3. You think there is something wrong with YOU.... I'm sitting here trying to make out the pattern on the butt of the jammies.

  4. Oh Vickie, If there is something wrong with you then the rest of us are really doomed. LOL Love this post. What fun and so glad to know I am not alone.
    By the way, Love the door basket decoration, oh and the feet below!! LOL
    Happy Halloween.

  5. Hee hee hee. I loved it when this thumbnail would pop up in the "You might also like"!! I love, love, love your stained wood doors. Such warm wood tones to contrast your mod painted trim. You're crackin' me right up. The door-to-door salesmen don't have a chance in your neighbourhood!! :D

  6. I think the jammies have purses on them or suitcases?
    Anyway, I love that you slither across the floor. I have done it so many times. We used to have a nosy neighbor that would just come over and peek in if we didn't answer. I have shutters on my front door now...I don't have to slither and slide anymore. ;) I adore this post and the real you!

  7. nice door, nice door jams, nice jammies (see how i did mr. dan and i have been hiding from trick or treaters all night...because of really bad weather and some of the festivities being postponed, we may have to hide from them again tomorrow night....oy.
    happy halloween!

  8. too funny! i never answer the door unless I know someone is coming over! If it's not someone I know, then it's usually someone selling something or someone I think may murder me ;) Also, I spend waaay too much time in my jammies avoiding getting dressed!

  9. Thanks for your understanding comment today. I'm glad I'm not the only crazy one that started painting her living room in October with al the holidays looming. But I really and truly only have about four more hours of it, once I get more paint. But then of course...I have to paint the dining room and all the windows and trim. Love this post. I don't answer the door if someone drops by unless I am in the living room doing something or have just gotten home. If it's a day that I'm not planning on going out and haven't fixed myself up...I won't answer. I figure if you are rude enough to just drop by...I am rude enough not to answer.

    Call me first...I just want to be able to put on some mascara before I scare ya!

  10. Vickie, You are hilarious!!! Fabulous post! I have a husband who answers the phone no matter what the caller ID says. He'll even answer the "unavailable" caller ID during dinner so he can tell them how rude it is to call at dinner time.
    Mary Alice

  11. Hahaha. Sounds like you aren't the only one that does the crawl. Hehehe. It is pretty hard to avoid people knocking on our door. ;) And they are always do-gooders needing money. And we are suckers. Sigh. Happy Halloween!

  12. Yea!! I'm not the only one! I hate it when unexpected people pop over! My home is my retreat from the world! But then I am a self proclaimed hermit. But now I know that thing I have done all my life is the combat crawl!! Awesome! Loved this post!!

  13. ha, such a great post and I think we all if honest have been there done that, the photos are amazing! Thanks so much for sharing!!!!

  14. I do believe this happens in all homes. You just know how to write about it and make it funny. Enjoyed this with my coffee this morning. Oh ya, and a kit-kat.

  15. You are so funny. I'd want to avoid the door this morning I have scary hair and am still in my pjs! Have a great weekend, Laura

  16. OH MY GOSH!!!!!! I wish you could hear me laughing hysterically right now. This is one of the funniest posts.......ever! YES, I have had that happen before. I've been sitting in the house, not dressed, house is a mess and that doorbell rings. I get all flustered and think WHO is here unannounced??? Usually it's just someone selling something (that is not even allowed in our subdivision) or the mailman with a pkg. Now I much prefer the latter! In that case, I just open the door and apologize for still being undressed at NOON. Then he looks at me like......huh? I've even been known to look out my window and see Jehovah's Witness groups out going door to door, and I tell my son that when the doorbell rings to be very very quiet. We're not answering it! (Can't believe I just confessed that one.) Thanks for the laughs.

  17. Oh yes, been there and done that! I have dropped to the floor and slithered to a hiding spot more than once. Thanks for the laugh!

  18. Oh my gosh, that is so funny. Love the pictures. Don't you always get caught. I grab the clutter in the kitchen in a bag and throw it in the closet. But you know, I never mind seeing someone's house a mess because it makes me feel so much better. You are welcome to my mess anytime.

  19. Such a funny post! I read it twice, the first time alone and the second one...with my husband! Yes, because I panic when I hear the doorbell and he has always told me he loves people arriving for a visit without calling before!! One thing we don't think the same way. Only one of them...:)

  20. Ha Ha Vickie. You crack me up. I am so with you with not wanting to answer the door. I have done that same crawl on occasion! Have a great week end and thanks for the laugh. Made my evening.

  21. Vickie,
    as usual, you CRACK ME UP! Been there, do that! I hate to answer the door when I don't know who it is! When I'm home, I'm almost always in what my kids refer to as my "hobo clothes". Maybe I should buy some "nice" pjs, that would be a huge improvement! Love your pics, especially the feet under the door! ( I'll definitely call before I drop by)!

  22. you are just so funny, vickie!! i'm thinking you need to repost the rest of the deletes:) and i've been known to crouch and duck walk in my time, too. happy weekend!

  23. I was laughing so hard at this post. I do the hiding thing when I'm in my jammies. By the way-I absolutely love that beautiful door!

  24. OMG I've been doing the 'combat crawl' since I was a kid when my mom trained us to 'never answer the door' although I called it the 'cowards crawl). I honestly thought my sister and I were the only weirdo's (sorry Vicki). Maybe we aren't the weirdo's? Maybe we are 'normal'? When the phone rings, my kids are used to me shouting 'Nobody answer that!!!" Thank God for Caller ID, huh?

  25. OK-
    I just spit my coffee laughing!
    Oh well...
    I am a great hider.
    Even in the grocery store hen I don't want to see anyone!

    White Spray Paint

  26. Lol ! Very funny, found myself checking out the pattern on the jammies too.
    I never answer my phone because friends have my mobile number, so anyone ringing the telephone number obviously wants to sell me something, and I've definitely done the combat crawl before !
    I'm afraid I had my usual sign up on Halloween asking trick or treaters not to stop by because of the dog !!

  27. I don't know how I missed this the other day.

    Too, too, funny!

    Steve keeps our Dutch door open on top year round so I can never do the "combat crawl".

  28. This is hysterical....and I so relate. I do this ALL the time..since I stay in my jammies on days when I am going to putz around the house. Usually I can hide pretty easy...but I have even had to dart under my office desk one time...and I really did believe I was terrible....and alone in this. Thank you for posting this...I don't feel so bad about it I had a good out loud laugh...which is always a plus!


  29. LOL. I can be found in my pajamas and robe at 5:30 pm in the wintertime but people feel the need to drop by or sell me something unannounced after 5:30!

  30. Ha ha ha...this post was so funny! Oh yes, I do this too. Tell your husband that you are NORMAL. :-)

  31. You're a nut. And I do this too. Except we have these pesky sidelights in the front door, so people tend to peek in the windows at me anyhow. So embarrassing when you know they see you and you know they know that they see. Awkward!

  32. That's an adorable post. Why did you delete it? I miss your sock monkeys stories. They are my favorites, and every time I see a sock monkey I think of you.

  33. LOL! Hmmm I got nothin.... ;-)

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